


Back of the Net

by QueenoftheTARDIS



Category: Ashes to Ashes (UK TV)
Genre: Bets & Wagers, Football | Soccer, Gen, battle of the sexes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-04
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:55:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25066522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenoftheTARDIS/pseuds/QueenoftheTARDIS
Summary: It's 1982 and World Cup fever has gripped everyone at Fenchurch East... well all except Alex and Shaz. With CID divided Alex decides a bet is the best way to settle the score.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10





	Back of the Net

**Author's Note:**

> I had a lot of fun writing Small Victories and I wondered whether I could do a similar conceit with Alex and this is what I came up with so I hope you enjoy!

Alex Drake burst into Fenchurch East police station hankering for an argument. Her morning had been going terribly. She had spend most of the day in Court giving evidence for the prosecution of a man accused of domestic abuse. The case was as watertight as a case like it could be, but even with her committed performance she could tell just from looking at jury that he’d be acquitted. _God, I hate this place,_ she thought.

To add to her annoyance she could hear a raucous commotion from all the way down the other end of the hallway, emanating from the CID office. She took a moment to brace herself once she got the doors.

She opened them with as much _joie de vivre_ she could muster and was immediately met with a football to the face. The boys looked sheepishly at their feet, none of them wanting to take responsibility for the shot that struck their senior officer, not that Alex really cared who it was. If she ended the day without killing any one of them she’d consider that an achievement.

Alex rubbed her throbbing forehead before snatching the ball from where it had landed and giving the boys a death glare that said if they went anywhere near her there’d be hell to pay.

‘If we could maybe treat this place like, oh I don’t know, a police station instead of the pitch at Stamford Bridge that would be nice.’ Alex smouldered.

‘Trust you to be a Chelsea supporter.’ Ray snidely muttered just loud enough to catch the attention of Alex.

‘And what’s that supposed to mean?’

‘Uh nothing ma’am,’ he said, his face rapidly turning red.

‘No go on DS Carling tell me.’

‘Well I just mean they’re just a bit crap that’s all.’ Ray said sheepishly, declining to mention the real reason was that Chelsea was a place full of posh, soft, southern jessies like Alex that he’d sooner kick the crap out of than talk to.

‘I’ll admit 1982 was not their finest hour.’

Evan had taken Alex to a few matches when she was a kid, more for his benefit than hers she always thought, but as it was the nearest stadium to where she grew up she felt somewhat of a tribal sense of loyalty.

‘“Finest hour” they were bought for a quid by bloody Ken Bates!’

‘They’ll get back to the First Division by the end of the decade.’ Alex mused.

‘I like your optimism boss… er ma’am.’ Chris piped up. ‘Anyway ma’am were just excited because of the World Cup, it’s England’s first match and kick off’s at quarter past four so we thought we’d stay here and watch it.’

‘Oh great, so I have to do my paperwork while you lot grunt and holler at the television screen?’

‘Don’t bother ma’am I’ve tried,’ Shaz said, frustratedly bashing the keys of her typewriter.

‘Is it on yet?’ Gene asked as he burst out of his office.

‘Still got another hour to go yet Guv.’ Ray informed him.

‘Then what’s with all the hullabaloo?’

‘DI Drake’s talking about football.’ Chris said innocently, by this point he had long given up all pretences of doing any actual work, which in normal circumstances would result in a bollocking but luckily Gene was intrigued enough by the response to follow this line of questioning instead.

‘Bolly talking about footy? I’ve heard it all now.’

‘I’m not just a pretty face Guv.’

‘No unfortunately you also have a boat load of annoying neuroses in that little head of yours to complicate the matter,’ he said before crossing his arms as he stood in front of her desk. ‘So go on then, who won the FA Cup in 1969?’

‘Ugh, you know that is such a childish response. You men don’t like women playing with your toys so you try to police them with trivia.’

‘Fine,’ he said wrestling the ball from Alex’s hands.

‘What are you doing?’

‘You wanna play with our toys, be my guest. Let’s see if you can score a goal through those doors. Chris, Raymondo.’

The boys snapped to attention, holding the double doors open like the world’s worst concierges.

‘This is ridiculous,’ she said, feigned her usual disapproval.

‘You want to talk the talk, let’s see if you can walk the walk.’

He placed the ball in the middle of the room, enough room for a decent run up, _this should be a laugh,_ he thought.

Normally she wouldn’t rise to their petty challenge but right now she needed to let off a bit of steam.

‘You don’t have to do this ma’am,’ Shaz raised her concern as she moved to the side of the room.

‘Don’t worry Shaz, I got this.’ Alex said breezily which did nothing to calm Shaz’s fear that this was going to go absolutely horribly.

‘You know what, why don’t we make this interesting?’ Alex said turning on her heel so that she was facing Gene’s open office. ‘I get it in your office and you lot clear off to a pub to watch the game while I finish my work in peace.’

‘Two bits of advice Drakey. if you’re gonna make a bet, one: aim a little higher than getting to do paperwork. Two: don’t make bets you know you can’t win; even Ray’d struggle to hit that shot.’

‘Even Georgie Best’d struggle to get it through that gap.’ Ray mocked.

Undeterred Alex took off her heels and shoved them into Gene’s hands to give herself a fighting chance.

‘Well, I’m feeling lucky.’ _And it’s not like I've got anything left to lose today_ , she neglected to add.

All of CID went deathly silent as Alex moved towards the ball.

\---

‘There’s nothing like a nice bit of peace and quiet is there Shaz?’ Alex beamed, letting out a tranquil sigh in the now almost deserted office.

‘Not half ma’am. I still don’t know how you did it. It’s was incredible.’

‘I’m not sure I do either, all I can say is thank God or fate or sheer blind luck for that miracle.’ She said looking up in the air and raising her cup of tea in the air as a kind of toast.

‘Without the men here I’ve gotten all my paperwork done in record time. What does that tell you?’ Alex asked rhetorically. ‘It’s almost time to knock off Shaz and given that if I remember rightly England beat France of all nations the boys are going to be absolutely insufferable tonight. How about you and I have a girls’ night out?’

‘That’d be ace!’ Shaz said. ‘I’ll just get changed.’

As Shaz left for the changing room Alex took a look upon her kingdom. _Sometimes, this place isn’t all bad,_ she thought. She sauntered out of the room and as if by magic the checkerboard ceiling lights turned dark row by row in perfect lockstep.


End file.
